1. |
Hack of the Year
03:19
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Verse 1
Stupid is as stupid does
Guess that makes me the dumbest one of all time
I’ll be a schmuck for a night and a goof for a while
(I’m) The Hack of the Year, like a lil badge of honor,
Cause nobody ever loved a knowitall
So I’ll be the greatest halfwit and slowest on the draw…
Chorus 1
WooooOOOOohoooo
(Sha-la-la-la, Ooo, Sha-la-la-la) 2x
Verse 2
Life is like a box of chocolate(s)
You’ve gotta enjoy it until it’s gone…
(Cause) The same things that make you laugh can make you cry
So enjoy while you can because we’re all gonna die
(It) Might not be today but it could be here soon
So I’d like sit here and eat my chocolate up with you
Chorus 2
WooooOOOOohoooo
(Sha-la-la-la, Ooo, Sha-la-la-la) 2x
Terry’s Call
Dale, it’s Terry. Listen. Big news. I had a great idea - I know you were talking about that one song called like “Hack of the Year” or something. Well, I just had a stroke of genius in the Luby’s earlier… Listen, call the record ‘Hack of the Year,’ that way, if it’s good, you’re being clever, and that way, if it’s bad, people think you did it on purpose. Alright now, call me back here in a second.
Thanks Terry!
Bridge/Outro
And I was born to be the Hack of the Year
And please vote me as your Hack of the Year
And it’s my dream to be the Hack of the Year
I hope I die the greatest Hack of the Year
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2. |
High Horse
04:20
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Verse 1
Only fools and horses have to work a living, that’s what they say
You’ll get further with honey than a cup of salt, or so I’ve learned
But just cause you’re a smooth talker, it won’t make you grease (for now)
So don’t you bother trying to get into heaven before they close the gates
Chorus
I knew you when you weren’t
And gotta say you still ain’t it
Try not to take it personally
Just telling ya how it is
I won’t butter your behind
And make you think that you’re a biscuit
Cause who do you think you are
I am not born above my/your raisin(g)
So don’t build your high horse
Too far from the ground
Verse 2
There but for the grace of god go i, while I’m going for broke for the second time
Cuz what’s anyone got to say that everyone, don’t already know?
Don’t know where I’ll be in a year, but hopefully won’t be here
May my name be the last thing you ever hear, before you show your behind
Chorus
I knew you when you weren’t
And gotta say you still ain’t it
Try not to take it personally
Just telling ya how it is
I won’t butter your behind
And make you think that you’re a biscuit
Cause who do you think you are
I am not born above my/your raisin(g)
So don’t build your high horse
Too far from the ground
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3. |
Don't Wanna Do Anything
05:23
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Verse 1
I got a lot to do but I won’t do anything
Don’t wanna do a single freaking thing
No matter how easy it may be
(And) now and then it’s fun to pretend that
The jetset scene is what I’m into,
But sometimes living high on the hog
Is enough to make me question the thought of
“Do I want to be here now?”
It’s a simple question, can’t figure it out
So if I should die before I wake
At least I won’t have to do anything.
Chorus
I’ve never been above working hard
But there’ll be days where I can’t find that spark
A young man idles while an old man grieves
And I’ll just sit here and not do anything
For now.
Verse 2
Well Howdy folks
Dale Hollow Country Music Superstar (Trademark Pending) speaking
Have you found yourself in a go go go go go go world?
Shopping til you can’t drop in this Super Walmart we call life?
Well! That’s bound to squeeze the juice right out of any lemon and let Yourstruly tell ya, there won’t be nearly enough pulp to make lemonade
But With the food metaphor out of the way, remember this -
The great Gary Levox once said “Life IS a Highway” and if you want to do it anyway, then do it Yourstruly’s way:
By not doing a GOSH DARN single dang freaking thing
That’s right yall I’m saying not doing anything
You’ll feel your anxiety slip right away
Straight on down the gutter and spat out into the FIGURATIVE Cumberland River of all that is gross and icky
Now doesn’t that sound just NASTY!?
Well skip the sick and stick with Yourstruly, and do nothing!!!
Chorus
I’ve never been above working hard
But there’ll be days where I can’t find that spark
A young man idles while an old man grieves
And I’ll just sit here and not do anything
For now.
Bridge
And I don’t wanna do anything
Don’t wanna do a single freaking thing
No matter how easy it may be
(Oh and)
I don’t wanna do anything
Don’t wanna do a single freaking thing
No matter how easy it may be
(Oh and)
I don’t wanna do anything
Don’t wanna do a single freaking thing
No matter how easy it may be.
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4. |
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Verse 1
Tie 'em up, and dress 'em down
Prove to everyone that I'm not messin' round
Show 'em how vicious bone
Can hide behind a smile that otherwise just glows
I'm gonna beat it through their skulls
(that)
Chorus
I’m a lover, but I’ll still fight
Whoever makes my baby cry is gonna lose some teeth tonight
So put your dukes up or head on home
I'd hate for you to miss last call but you'll hate me even more
'Cuz I'm a lover, and I'll fight you right now
Verse 2
I’ve seen Road House one hundred and twelve times
Instead of the dialogue I memorized thе fights
So go ahead, bust a glass
I'll even givе you one free swing but then I'll beat your ass!
'Cuz it's my way or the highway
Chorus
'Cuz I'm a lover, but I'll still fight
Whoever makes my baby cry is gonna lose some teeth tonight
So put your dukes up or head on home
I'd hate for you to miss last call but you'll hate me even more
'Cuz I'm a lover, but I'll fight you right now
Instrumental
Chorus
I'm a lover, but I'll still fight
Whoever makes my baby cry is gonna lose some teeth tonight
So put your dukes up or head on home
I'd hate for you to miss last call but you'll hate me even more
'Cuz I'm a lover, but I'll fight you...
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5. |
Sooner Than Later
04:17
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Verse 1
All dressed up and nowhere to go
I'm headed to hell in a pair of
Gasoline drawers
Well I don't know what I've been told
But I'll tell you something that I wish I'd known
They're only words, unless they're true
And I should never have lied to you
But please tell me what you would say
When the IRS finds your tax haven
On the shores of the Seychelles
Or somewhere nice like Curacao
Nevеr should have bought me a boat
And now I'm up the damnеd creek without propulsion
I ain't no wolf of any corporate elite
And now the walls are crumbling down around me
But if I say I'm sorry for involving you
Will that propel you to pay my bailout
Sooner than later?
Verse 2
I'd atone for all my sins
If I wasn't already so far into the red
I know I said "Fools rush in,"
but it's also foolish to keep lying
So tell me how should I say "I'm sorry."
I swear by this time next year we're gonna have more money
I hope
Where I pay off all my credit cards
And we'll have a house with a big front yard
As I build up my own self worth
And I promise I'll stop being such a jerk
I just need you to keep me in check
And we'll be straight cash if you pay my bail
On time
I know it's rich when this is coming from me
But right now I need you to believe it
If you don't pay now they're gonna send me away
Guaranteeing that you won't see me
Sooner than later
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6. |
Cowboys on TV
02:02
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Verse 1
Gary Cooper, Chuck Connors, James Stewart, James Garner,
Steve McQueen, Henry Fonda, Paul Newman, James Arness
Jack Elam, Roy Rogers, Charles Bronson, Eli Wallach,
Lee Van Cleave, Gene Autry, Randolph Scott, Ben Johnson
Walter Brennen, Royal Dano, Gregory Peck, Robert Mitchum,
Glenn Ford, Audie Murphy, Dale Evans, Yul Brynner
Alan Ladd, Peter Breck, Tom Mix, Slim Pickens
All got to play!
Chorus
I JUST WANNA BE A COWBOY
(I just wanna be a cowboy)
I JUST WANNA BE A COWBOY
(I just wanna be a cowboy)
Verse 2
Clint Eastwood, Jeff Bridges, Denzel Washington, Val Kilmer
Kevin Costner, Kurt Russell, Hailee Steinfeld, Will Smith
Ed Harris, Josh Brolin, Brad Pitt, Casey Affleck
Jackie Chan, Owen Wilson, Russell Crowe, Christian Bale
Tom Selleck, Viggo Mortensen, Adam Sandler Idris Elba,
Daniel Craig, Seth McFarlane, Hillary Swank, Lakeith Stanfield,
Regina King, Matt Damon, Harrison Ford, Heath Ledger,
JAKE GYLLENHAAL!
Chorus
I JUST WANNA BE A COWBOY
(I just wanna be a cowboy)
I JUST WANNA BE A COWBOY
(I just wanna be a cowboy)
Outro
I just want to be a (I just want to)
I just want to be a (I just want to)
I just want to be a (I just want to)
I just want to be a (I just want to)
I just want to be a (I just want to)
I just want to be a (I just want to)
I just want to be a cowboy
I just wanna be a Cowboy on TV!
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7. |
Fools Rush In
03:58
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Verse 1
Well the spare is flat and my back is tight
From tossing and a turning, losing sleep at night
Over loose bolts and rocky roads
And the thought of my baby stranded in the cold
Now I don't have any money to pay
For a set of new Kumhos at all today
And I still owe my bookie least a couple grand
And if I don't pay soon, she said she'll break my hand (Ouch!)
That's because I bet it all on black
Never thought that Matt Stafford'd lead the Rams ahead
And beat Joe Burrow and the Bengals (Meow!)
But now I'm in this nice little predicament....
Bridge
But I hope you know that's not happening now, my love
That good living's a few years out from now
But if it
Will keep you
From leaving
Me...
I promise one day
I'm gonna try and buy you
Everything
That you want
Just not right now
Chorus
No I can't buy that ring right now!
But before you go and curse me out...
Think of the old Elvis song
Something about fools rushing in all the time
Verse 2
Well I hope this song
Doesn't make you want to
Up and leave now
Because my stacks are small
I've got a few leads on potential fixes
If any of them hit, it's back to real good living
Where you can order anything you want, babe
Skip the chicken tenders, ask for caviar
And only drink the liquor on the very top shelf
And every single meal, you'll get to treat yourself
Or maybe, you want a fancy car
Like a Lambo, or a Fisker, Or a Jaguar
Well I probably know a guy who could cut a deal
Put in crocodile seats and diamond steering wheel
Bridge
But I hope you know that's not happening now, my love
That good living is a few years out from now
But if it
Will keep you
From leaving me
I promise one day, I'm going to try and buy you
That diamond ring
Just not now
No not right now
Chorus
No I can't buy that ring right now!
And before you go and curse me out
Think of the old Elvis song
Something about fools rushing in all the time....
Yeehaw!
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8. |
Dead End Job
03:55
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Intro:
Hello?
Hey! What’s up boss?
I’m here to inquire about Yourstruly’s financial prosperity package…
Oh well you’re in the right place my friend, come on in!
Verse 1
One time I cried inside of the middle of Dillards’ shoe salesfloor
Because my break was over and I was nowhere closer to where i wanted to (be)
Cuz a jobs a job, until it’s not, when the pays okay, but the customers suck
When it’s all on me that they feel seen, I’m bending over backwards as a courtesy
Oh god, I need to leave this job
It’s felt like a BIG OLE waste of time ever since I signed on from the start
Chorus
I’m so sick of this dead end… job (4x)
Verse 2
Ten days on no days off cuz my PTO ain’t long enough
If Tax is 20 percent, and I can’t pay rent, how many avocado toasts should Dale buy then?
(Because) Talk is cheap if you can’t eat, but yourstruly would rather die than sell an NFT
So shut up Dave, and screw bored apes, I may hate my job but at least I’m not a *****
(But) Oh god, I still need to leave this job
But to quit now and start over seems a little scarier than I thought
Outro (Rant)
And I’m so sick of this dead end job!
But you know what’s not gonna help it folks?
Complaining about it! And I know that’s what i just did in the last verse and the last chorus,
But let Yourstruly tell ya - This is the end of my pain and beginning of Yourstruly’s financial
Prosperity! So be sure to go to Yourstruly’s website and buy my financial success package, for
THREE measley payments of a hundred and twelve dollars and ninety nine cents my friends,
You too can give a dead end to your dead end job and follow Yourstruly to the promised land of
Big ole cash!
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9. |
Big Rig in the Sky
05:06
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Verse 1
There’s a highway that leads to heaven
Where the hours of service will last forever
With Peterbilt on the Pearly Gates
No more drawing lines on the interstate
Hallelujah to the long haul
This your home 20 forever more
You got your whole life in your back pocket
The eternal convoy’s never stopping
Just a bunch of Bubbas on the boulevard
All space and time on an open road (where)
You’ll never run out of diesel speed
So go and mash your motor as much as you please
Chorus
It’s the Big Rig
Up in the sky
We’ll never stop rolling through the
By and by
You’ll have eighteen wheels
For eternity
And the dispatch radios that “You’re finally free.”
Verse 2
Roger and John just rolling along
Down the I-65 route to Nirvana
Here and there and everywhere
Turns out the end of time actually lasts forever
Brother, oh brother, what’s our PnD?
When our one main road runs perpetually
Through Valhalla and the Milky Way
In our cosmic Kenworth that we can’t leave?
Chorus
It’s the Big Rig, up in the sky
We’ll never stop rolling through the
By and By
You’ll have eightee wheels
For eternity
And the dispatch radios that youre finally free
In the Big Rig, up in the sky
We got a real clean shot thru the end of time.
Radio Call
Breaker! breaker! Breaker! breaker! Come on in…
Breaker! Breaker! Hey there Superstar - You got your ears on?
Listen up, don’t worry bout no city kitties or town clowns where you’re headed, partner.
Once you split past Yard 22, you’ll have a nice clean shot all the way into Paradise.
We’ll see ya here real soon.
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10. |
Superstar
03:11
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Verse 1
Heavy is the head that wears the crown
Is a Superstar made or are they born?
Cause I can write a song that no one’s heard
Sprinkle in a few jokes and it’s damn near perfect.
Without a doubt
I (Dale) am the greatest
I know many people pretend to be
But I’m not afraid to say it
If that means,
That there’ll be days
I wont be able to leave my house
Cause I’m way too rich and famous
What a dream
To live that out
I’d do anything to get that way
If someone would give me (Dale) a shot
Verse 2
One day I’mma see my name in lights
Followed by a “No Tickets” on the marquee sign
And it’ll be big news wherever I go
“Dale Hollow’s in town, another sold out show.”
I’ll you what
That’d be the greatest
Where everybody knows my name and the backstage meal is catered
It’s my dream
To be VIP
And the country music superstar that I (we) know I’m (Dale’s) meant to be
Have a heart
Give me a chance…
Instrumental Bridge
Outro
Cause if anyone can be a superstar
It’s me, I know I can.
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11. |
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Verse 1
You’re not alone when you’re in the bar
Give it some time, it won’t take long
For some little lady or some big ole mister
To slide up beside you and order a pitcher
Of something real cold and a little cheap
While the bartender smiles as the big tipper leaves,
(Cause) they’re not alone
Cause they’re at the bar.
Chorus
Oohs & Aahs
Verse 2
And you’re not alone when you’re in this bar
So go right ahead
And buy one more round.
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12. |
Angel Baby
03:30
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Verse 1
Can I be your cowboy, sweet angel baby?
How in the world can I get you to love me?
I know that I can be rough round the edges
That’s because I can’t process my feelings
Cowboys don’t cry and they don’t show emotion
But whenever you smile, those tears start a-flowing
Because I’m your cowboy
Sweet angel baby
And I think I’d die
If you up and left me
So can I be your partner?
And saddle up next to you
I’d spend my whole life, dear
And worship you every
Day
Verse 2
Loving a cowboy probably ain’t easy t
Especially a superstar as handsome as me,
Who spends all my time (with)
These dumb little songs
And I hope you don’t mind
Because there could be big ones
I’ll still be your cowboy
Sweet angel baby
You’ve lassoed my heart dear
And I hope you don’t hate these
Silly cowboy songs
About love and money
If they go viral
Then we can live happily
Alone on the range
Outro
Home home on the range
Just me and my angel baby
Wherever she goes then I will follow
And hopefully we’ll be rich and famous
(by then)
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Dale Hollow New York, New York
Country Music Superstar (Trademark Pending)
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